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Tex: Welcome Folks to another exhilerating edition of AWA Insomnia! I'm Tex, alongside with me as always is my partner Duff, and I have to tell you I'm excited tonight Duff!
Duff: We have so much fallout coming out of Full Throttle II, you can't swing a cat without hitting a blood feud! Fang is at war with Morbius of Execution, but has a super sized #1 Contender in Executions World Breaker, Max Maxim!
Tex: Not to mention the fact that Goth has been really taking it to AWA's Universal Champion-
Tex is interrupted as 3-6-Mafia's "Its a Fight" hits the loudspeakers. The crowd erupts into noise, cheering like mad, as from out behind the curtain steps none other than the Man of a Million Monikers himself, Shane West. He is wearing a nice suit, black dress slacks, a baby blue button up with a matching tie, and a nice jacket. Over his shoulder hangs the AWA Universal Championship. He walks down the ramp grinning like a cheshire cat.
Duff: The Champ isn't scheduled to compete tonight, what is he doing out here?
Tex: I'm guessing he has something to say, but its Shane. The guy Always has something to say.
Shane steps in between the ropes into the ring, and stands there, soaking in the cheers, the large grin on his face not wavering. He holds the Universal Title above his head, and the crowd erupts again. Lowering it back onto his shoulder, he walks and gets a microphone from Stormy, turning back around in the ring.
Shane: "The One Week Wonder."
The crowd silences itself, allowing the Serial Thrilla to speak his mind.
Shane: That's what my opponents had the gall to call me last week, heading into Full Throttle. Having defeated Anthony Phoenix, ending the Golden Era, to claim this title, everyone expected me to drop it inside the Elimination Chamber, only one week later, to have one of the least inspired and shortest Universal Title Runs in AWA history. Lets be fair here- I mean, I was inside "Satan's Prison" as its called, with 2 men who are insane, one who fashions himself an "Xtreme Gawd", an asshole, and the Good Humor Man. If that just wasn't enough, the owner himself did everything in his power to make sure that I didn't leave Full Throttle with the Universal Title. So it looked like it just might happen, where The Prime Time Playa ended up losing his universal Title. I mean, James Crow took out my ankle and knee after I eliminated him. Hank Henry worked alongside Goth for a few minutes in attempts to emerge Universal Champion. In the end, however, it ended the same way I said it would. With me, standing here tonight with you, STILL the AWA UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!
The crowd erupts into cheers again, chanting Shane's name repeatedly. Shane pats his belt appreciatively and then points out to the crowd, nodding.
Shane: I worked my butt off to get here, and I am not leaving this title in the dust anytime soon. You all pushed me that extra mile. When I was content, you all made me hungry. When I was in pain, and ready to say no more, you all stood behind me and gave me the extra push. When I was ready to give up, you lit the fire under my ass all over again. So, let me start by saying 'THANK YOU', to all of you. Every single one of our AWA Fans. That being said, I have something else to say too.
Goth. You and I apparently have unfinished business. You see, I was content to leave it behind us in the cage. You apparently, don't feel the same way. You stacked the odds against me in my match against Anthony Phoenix, making it a first blood match when I had already been busted open twice that night. A strong breeze could have busted me open at that point. Its just lucky for me that Anthony Phoenix isn't as powerful as a strong breeze. The Elimination Chamber, you handed my opponents weapons, you worked along side them, you even ENTERED the Chamber and tried to strike me down while Hank Henry held me still. AGAIN, your plans backfired, and I remained your Universal Champion. So, lets get one thing straight. I was happy to let things go. I was happy to leave you and Execution in my dust. Yet here we are, and you're trying to push me all over again, and I have to say just one thing.
The crowd begins chanting a series of words that is edited for our younger viewers, but you can assume its an attack on Goth's personal character. Shane is standing in the ring laughing, before finally raising a hand, and the crowd silences itself.
Shane: That actually isn't it. You wanted me to say thank you for my Universal Title win after beating Phoenix. You wanted me to 'owe you' for your 'help'. So let me say this. "Thanks for making it all possible." The AWA, and my Universal Title Reign. If you weren't so deadset on destroying me, I wouldn't be so damned dead set on proving to you that Shane West CANT Be destroyed. These people lit the fire, but you fueled the gas tank. So how's that feel, knowing that you made this all possible?
That being said, no one can argue that Shane West isn't legit. No one can argue that Shane West isn't the real thing. I beat 6 people in 2 weeks time to obtain and retain this title. Every person I have competed against has pointed out that "Shane West is all talk". Has said that "Shane West is a no talent hack". That "Shane West is the same backyard wrestler he started as... only now he's one with an ego." They say I'm "reaching above my station". You want to know what I think about that?!
The crowd cheers, but before Shane can respond, Goth's Theme music hits, and the owner of the AWA himself walks out onto the top of the ramp way. Shane just stares at him, and Goth stares back. Hate is clear on both mens faces, and Goth glares daggers at Shane. In response, Shane just raises the Universal Title over his head erupting the place in cheers. Goth raises his microphone to his mouth, still standing on the ramp way.
Goth: Look whose here, the man that is not scheduled to compete today and yet he can’t accept that fact and starts to put himself on the top of the list by coming out with nothing more than bullshit on his mind. How cute Shane, is that what you are all about??
The crowd boos Goth as Shane grins to the words that the owner speaks out to him.
Goth: You know something Shane? I don’t like people who try to put the spotlight upon themselves even though they don’t deserve it. You won last Sunday a hard fought match, tainted I agree. But you won, so let me accept your thank you. Clearly you are a man that is too incapable of doing things on your own and you need my help to stay champion. For that I accept your gratitude towards me
The crowd starts to sing an asshole chant towards Goth, who starts to get a bit amused by all of this
Tex: Wow!!! That’s big!!
Security comes out and escorts West out of the arena as the fans boo Goth as the show goes to a commercial break
The big screen statics then focuses in backstage. 13 taps on the camera lens.
13: Chris? Chris Shipman...you there? Listen Chris, the time of your demise is drawing near boy. Seems to me you can't seem to make up you mind what you want to be.
A psycho? Nah, just an under developed brain! You're no psycho Chris, you just stopped developing mentally around the age of twelve. No biggy though, just figured I'd let you know.
A Reverend? Come on Shipman, you know you were just in it for the boys now don't we? Seems you couldn't really get that right either though, reference back to the under developed brain.
In a stable, out of a stable, in a stable that doesn't exist anymore...buddy you really do need some help.
Tell you what though Chris, after tonight, you can be rest assured of one thing...what you will be for the rest of your miserable life is...retired! No two ways around it boy, after the ass beating you're going to get in just a few short ones, you will have no choice but to live off your commonwealth.
Suddenly there's a knock on 13's door, as he turns to see who it is a voice can be heard out of camera shot.
??: I've got a proposition for you if you're interested.
Th1rt3en vs. Chris Shipman
HELLION by Judas Priest hits the speakers in the Arena as smoke fills the entrance area. There is a glow of purple from lights which illuminate the smoke. Through the eerie purple glow we see movement and then we see Th1rt3en come out of the smoke as white strobes flash like lightning. The music goes into Electric Eye as Th1rt3en walks to the landing at the top of the entrance ramp and he stops to play the crowd. We see the lights glistening off his half of the Tag Team Title Belts which is strapped around his waist. Th1rteen beats on his chest and then he takes off running down the ramp toward the ring. When he arrives at the ring he dives under the bottom rope and quickly pops to his feet to the delight of the crowd. He walks around the ring grabbing the ropes and shaking them which excites the crowd. Th1rt3en then mounts the second rope in a corner and beats on his chest again. The crowd reacts by standing up and beating their chests also. Th1rt3en jumps off the corner ropes, then he removes the Tag Team Title Belt and slips it out of the ring, and then he leans back into the corner to await the arrival of Chris Shipman.
TEX: There is a lot of confidence in Th1rt3en after he and Bill Barnhart defeated Morbius Tassius and Ebony Mae for the Tag Team Titles last week.
DUFF: I am not going to give much credit to Th1t3en and Barnhart since there was interference in the match by Fang which gave the advantage to them.
TEX: Hold on there Duff! As much as Fang hates Bill Barnhart and Th1rt3en for sure you are not suggesting that he wanted to help them.
DUFF: No I am not saying that at all. I am saying that with the difficult time they were having with Morbius and Ebony I honestly don't think they would have won the match without the interference by Fang.
STORMY CANYON: Here is our first competitor in this match, a Standard Rules match, from Kona, Hawaii, at 6 feet 3 inches, and weighing 275 pounds, please give a warm Denver, Colorado welcome to TH1RT3EN!!!
The crowd erupts into a mostly favorable reaction for the announcement of Th1rt3en. They quiet down when they hear FUNERAL OF QUEEN MARY by Henry Purcell hit the speakers as the lights in the Arena go dark. There is a single spotlight on the entrance area. As the song picks up we see Chris Shipman emerge from the backstage area. We notice that he his holding a Bible and a cross high in the air. He goes through the motions as if blessing the crowd and the crowd erupts into a mostly negative reaction. There is no hesitation by Shipman as he walks down the ramp toward the ring. When he arrives at the ring he climbs the ring steps and then he ducks through the ropes into the ring. Shipman walks to the middle of the ring and he sets his Bible and cross down on the mat. He then appears to be praying and then when he is done he stands up and moves to a corner, carrying his Bible and cross with him. He takes off his coat and he places his coat and Bible and cross on the ring apron in the corner.
TEX: There appears to be a major void here with the absence of Synn in the corner of Chris Shipman. I wonder what is up with that?
DUFF: You always read more into things than what is really there. I am sure that Synn had a prior commitment and there is nothing for you to assume about him not being at ringside tonight.
STORMY CANYON: Here is our next competitor for this match. He hails from The Georgian Backwoods, he is 6 feet 3 inches, and 235 pounds, please give a warm welcome to CHRIS "THE REVEREND" SHIPMAN!!!
The crowd erupts into a mostly negative reaction for Chris Shipman but he ignores the taunts from the crowd. Referee Chip Long moves to the center of the ring and he calls Th1rt3en and Shipman to join him. Referee Long reminds the wrestlers that this is a Standard Rules match which means no weapons, no interference, and no cheating. He reminds them that anything illegal will result in a five-count and if the illegal activity doesn't stop and he reaches the five-count that it will result in a Disqualification. Finally Referee Long informs the wrestlers that a win in this match will be by Pinfall, Submission, Knockout, Disqualification, or a Count-Out and that if the 15 minute time limit expires without a clear winner then he will declare this match a Draw. Chip Long asks both wrestlers if they fully understand the rules and stipulations of this match and both state that they fully understand. Referee Long directs both wrestlers to go into a corner and await the bell to officially start the match. Both wrestlers go to a corner and wait.
TEX: Before the match starts I want to discuss a comparison of these two wrestlers. Th1rt3en and Shipman are the same height at 6 feet 3 inches but Th1rt3en is very muscular and comes in with a 40 pound weight advantage.
DUFF: But you must remember that weight is not always a factor. One factor Shipman has going for him is that he is one of the most brutal wrestlers in the business.
TEX: Although normally that would be a good point to bring up, the fact that this is a Standard Rules match, and not a Hardcore Rules match, it would tend to be a disadvantage to Chris Shipman to be an Extreme Hardcore wrestler with Standard Rules. Add to that the fact that he has been on a major losing streak lately and I would say the odds are against him.
DUFF: We will have to wait and see what happens in this match. Maybe losing a few matches has fired Shipman up.
Referee Long calls for the bell and the match is officially underway. Shipman and Th1rt3en fly out of their respective corners and the two slam into each other in the center of the ring. As they bounce off each other we see Chris Shipman drop and execute a leg sweep which takes Th1rt3en off his feet. Shipman quickly goes for a cover but Th1rt3en quickly powers out of the pin attempt before Referee Long can get into position to make the count. The two wrestlers get to their feet and approach each other and as they are about to lock up Th1rt3en backs off and then he quickly lands a knee to the midsection of Shipman. As Chris doubles over from the knee, Th1rt3en executes a DDT on Chris and then he flips him over for the pin. Chip Long drops and checks the shoulders and then he starts his pin count. ONE...but Shipman manages to get his shoulder up to break the count. Th1rt3en gets to his feet and he drags Shipman to his feet. Shipman punches Th1rt3en in the jaw as Referee Chip Long gives him a warning for the closed fist punch. Shipman runs into the ropes and on the rebound he lands a forearm smash to the chest of Th1rt3en. The blow was not enough to put Th1rt3en down but it was enough to cause him to step back against the ropes. Seeing the advantage Shipman again rebounds off the ropes and he runs across the ring to clothesline Th1rt3en over the top rope. As Shipman approaches Th1rt3en to administer the clothesline, we see Th1rt3en drop to the mat at the last moment, and this caused Chris Shipman to miss the clothesline and the crowd gasps as Shipman flies over the top rope and he lands hard on the Arena floor. Referee Long faces Th1rt3en and orders him back so that he can make a clean count on Shipman who is on the Arena floor. Th1rt3en smartly holds back so as not to break the Referee's count.
TEX: A brilliant move on the part of Th1rt3en by making Shipman think he was out of it against the ropes! Shipman totally missed that clothesline when Th1rt3en ducked the blow!
DUFF: From my perspective, Tex, the way I saw it was that Shipman was about to execute a clothesline from Hell on Th1rt3en and drive him over the top rope to the arena floor. What I saw happen is that Th1rt3en was totally out of it and he didn't duck the clothesline attempt by Chris Shipman, it was a matter of him collapsing from the previous blows from Shipman.
TEX: You have a great knack of trying to explain away everything you don't like instead of accepting things for what they are.
Th1rt3en holds back while Referee Chip Long turns toward Shipman on the outside of the ring and begins his count on him. ONE... Suddenly we see Bill Barnhart come out from the backstage area and he runs down the ramp to ringside. TWO... We expect Barnhart to interfere in the match but he does not because he doesn't wish to cause a Disqualification on Th1rt3en. THREE... Th1rt3en sees Bill at ringside and Barnhart starts clapping and cheering on his Tag Team partner and the crowd joins in clapping and cheering for Th1rt3en. FOUR... Shipman is up on his feet and he approaches the ring. He reaches up and grabs on to the ropes to pull himself up but he looks over at Bill Barnhart and he exchanges some words with him. FIVE... Shipman pulls himself up on the ring apron and he is standing on the ring apron but he hasn't yet returned inside the ring. SIX... Th1rt3en isn't going to stand around and wait for Chris to get back into the ring so he approaches the ropes and this causes Referee Long to stop his count on Shipman. Th1rt3en protests the Referee stopping his count but to no avail.
TEX: What in the world is Referee Chip Long doing stopping the count? Th1rt3en didn't touch Shipman and he didn't interfere with him getting back into the ring so there is no reason to stop the count since Shipman is still on the outside of the ring. What is going on here? Some sort of favoritism toward Chris Shipman?
DUFF: No favoritism at all Tex. Referee Chip Long is simply enforcing the rules which state if there is any hindering of a wrestler trying to get back into the ring then the Referee has the option to stop the count on him due to the interference by the other wrestler.
Referee Long pushes Th1rt3en back and then he returns to restart the count on Chris Shipman who is still on the ring apron. Bill Barnhart says something to Shipman and Chris diverts his attention to Barnhart for a moment. Bill just turns around and heads for the ramp to return to the backstage area. Shipman returns his attention to the ring just in time to see Th1rt3en diving at him through the ropes. Chris leaps backward off the ring apron and he lands on his feet on the arena floor. Th1rt3en dives through the ropes, missing Shipman as Chris jumped off the ring apron, and Th1rt3en is hung up on the ropes for a moment. Shipman takes the opportunity to grab Th1rt3en and pull him entirely out of the ring to join him on the arena floor. Referee Long starts the count on both wrestlers now. ONE... Shipman is in the face of Th1rt3en arguing his attempt to attack him while he is outside the ring. TWO... Th1rt3en fires back at Shipman that he knows the boundaries of rules and what constitutes going over the line. THREE... Shipman reaches out and he shoves Th1rt3en hard in the chest which causes Th1rt3en to take a step back. FOUR... Th1rt3en repays the shove by slamming Shipman in the chest with his hands which drives Shipman back into the barricade. FIVE... Th1rt3en lunges at Shipman but Chris spins out of the way and Th1rt3en lands on the barricade. SIX... Chris runs toward the ring and he dives under the bottom rope and into the ring, breaking Referee Chip Long's count on him. Long continues counting on Th1rt3en who is still on the outside of the ring. SEVEN...
TEX: Th1rt3en needs to get back into the ring as there are only three more ticks on Referee Chip Long's count on him.
DUFF: Yeah, wouldn't that be a sad sight to see if Th1rt3en got counted out?
The count is up to EIGHT as Th1rt3en realizes he needs to get back into the ring. NINE...Th1rt3en quickly dives back into the ring and under the ropes to break the Referee's count at nine. Chip Long signals for the match to continue as Th1rt3en stands to his feet. Shipman approaches Th1rt3en and he puts him into a side headlock and drives Th1rt3en into the mat with a bulldog move. Shipman quickly gets to his feet and he picks Th1rt3en up and he delivers a body slam to him. Shipman then picks Th1rt3en up and delivers a Crucifix Powerbomb and then he goes for the pin. Referee Chip Long drops into position and delivers the count. ONE...TWO... but somehow Th1rt3en kicks out of the pinning combination. Shipman is upset he missed the pinfall there.
TEX: That shows the great ring presence of Th1rt3en as he always knows where he is at during a match.
DUFF: Where he was at was on his back staring up at the lights. He just got lucky that he was able to kick out of the pin due to Referee Long being so damn slow in the pinfall count!
Shipman is really upset at Chip Long for what he believes was the Referee out of position and then slow to make the count once he was in position. Referee Long is informing Chris that he is doing his best to officiate this match and he orders Shipman to get back into the match. Chris turns to face Th1rt3en and he immediately gets clotheslined by Th1rt3en and Shipman drops to the mat. Chris is quick to get up but he is immediately hit with a shoulder block by Th1rt3en. This drives Shipman into the ropes and when he rebounds off the ropes Th1rt3en grabs him and slams him to the mat with a power slam. Th1rt3en delivers a few knees to the chest of Shipman and then he drops head first into Shipman's head to deliver a head butt. Th1rt3en stands up and he places Shipman into a piledriver position and drops him hard on his head into the mat. He rolls Chris over, hooks both legs, and goes for the cover. Referee Long drops, checks the shoulders, and then he delivers the pinfall count. ONT...TWO...THREE!!! Long calls for the bell to end the match and he orders Th1rt3en to get off Shipman and go to a corner and he does.
TEX: I told you so! Tonight it was Th1rt3en who had the great ring presence and he took full advantage of Chris Shipman in the process.
DUFF: It was more along the lines of 10 percent skill and 90 percent luck for Th1rt3en.
STORMY CANYON: Here is the winner of this match, by pinfall, he is TH1RT3EEEEENNNNN!!!!!
Referee Chip Long raises the hand of Th1rt3en in victory to a mixed reaction from the crowd. Th1rt3en slips out of the ring, he gathers his half of the Tag Team Title Belts from the corner, and he heads back up the ramp and returns behind the partition to the backstage area. Shipman is kneeling inside the ring, saddened to know that he was so close to winning, but let he let the match get away from him. Shipman slowly slides out of the ring, he walks over to the corner to recover his Bible and cross, and he slowly returns up the ramp to the backstage area.
Winner: Th1rt3en
The camera pans to the backstage as Morbius is standing there with Ebony Mae. He is leaning on the wall as she is stretching up for the match.
Morbius: Tonight is the defining point of the war. Tonight the first shells get fired upon the Dark Enforcers and now Goth and Fang will know that we mean business. Did you think this was gonna be easy boys? Did you think that this was gonna be a walk in the park? I hate to disappoint you and all but tonight you get a taste of what Execution is made of.
Ebony stands up and looks into the camera.
Ebony: Like I said before. We’re ready. Are you?
The scene cuts to the crowd cheering before the next match.
John Gold vs. Jinx
Stormy: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it will be contested under standard rules!!! The first wrestler to come down the aisle stands in at 6’3 and weighing in at 260 pounds!! Hailing from Boyle Heights, Los Angeles, California!!!! Representing Axiom!!! John Gold!!!
Deep Purple, Perfect Strangers hits on the speaker system. No darkness, no Pyros, no over the top camera effects. As the beat of Deep Purple, Perfect Strangers kicks in John Gold appears from the back grasping a white sports towel. His eyes are completley fixed on the ring as he makes his way past the adoring AwA hardcore fans. Fans try to get a touch of one of the brightest young talents the business has to offer today but he is unfazed. When he reaches the ring he slides under the bottom rope, heads to the furthest away corner and raises his arm before tossing his white sports towel into the front row of seats. He climbs down from the turnbuckle and turns, always looking intense and ready for the gauntlet that stands before him.
Tex: John Gold shocked the world when he joined the Axiom last week at the PPV, assaulting the Universal Champion after his gruelling title defence. I am curious how he is going to follow it up tonight!!
Duff: That all depends whether Jinx is going to secure her first ever victory for The Family!!!
Tex: Well it’s time for…. Hey wait a minute!! I’m getting a message from backstage that something is going on!!!
The camera’s go backstage as we see Jinx flattened down on the concrete floor of the arena. Just as the camera pans out we see Ebony Mae standing over her with a chair in her hands, smiling
Ebony: So who do you think you are missy? If I were you, I would stay out of tonight’s main event if you know what’s good for you
Tex: Oh my!!! She looks to be out cold!!!!
John Gold aims his direction towards the referee, telling him to give him the victory over Jinx as the fans are giving a mixed reaction on the given situation. The referee then calls for the bell and orders Stormy Canyon the following
Stormy: The referee has ordered this match to be a victory for John Gold due to the fact that Jinx is unable to compete tonight
John Gold can be seen celebrating his victory for the night as medics are taking care off Goth’s sister Jinx
Winner: John Gold
We switch backstage to the dressing room of Bill Barnhart. The door slowly opens and we see that Bill has a half dozen computers and handheld devices set up on the table. Bill is already dressed for his wrestling match with Ty The Tech Guy and he invites us in for a little discussion concerning computers and computer geeks.
BILL BARNHART: Before my match later tonight against Ty The Tech Guy in the Cage I wish to give you a little presentation why Mister Computer Geek, who is relying on his computer, ANNIE, to get him through this match, will fail in his attempt to take me out. You see, I don't rely on computers to tell me what to do in my wrestling matches, I only rely on myself. The problem with Mister Tech Guy is that he is relying too heavily on technology, and not on his supposed wrestling abilities, and that will be his downfall.
Bill walks over to the table where the computers and handheld devices are set up.
BILL BARNHART: You all know that Ty The Tech Guy is bringing his sex toy computer ANNIE to the match tonight to give him advice. Big mistake there Computer Geek Boy! Let me give you a few demonstrations.
Bill picks up a handheld computer device and he walks over to the bathroom. He walks over to the toilet and he drops the handheld computer device into the toilet. He lets the device sit there for about a minute and then he pulls it out. He holds it up for the camera to get a shot of the device.
BILL BARNHART: As you can see the device is no longer working. Just a short time in some water and, gee, this powerful little handheld computer device took a dump. Hmmm...so whatcha think might happen, Ty, while we are wrestling, that let's just assume, that the Beer Guy is walking down ringside looking for customers, and he happens to trip over a power cable or something like that, and his entire beer collection he is carrying just happens to fall on top of ANNIE and short her out? Gee, what would you do then since you wouldn't have any directions from her? Uh huh!
Bill goes to the next computer on the desk, a desktop, and he reaches down and pulls the plug. The computer immediately shuts down because there is no power.
BILL BARNHART: Damn! Amazing how a powerful computer can be rendered useless in a half second by pulling the power cord. So, Tech Guy, what happens if you have ANNIE plugged into a power source and that same Beer Guy trips over the power cord and unplugs her? POOF! She goes dark and silent and you have no more direction in our match. Tsk tsk tsk!!!
This time Barnhart picks up a running laptop computer and he holds it up for the camera to see.
BILL BARNHART: So, Ty, I already know that since you are worried about liquid shorting ANNIE out, and you are worried that someone might unplug ANNIE from the power source, that you will probably come out with ANNIE fixed up with a battery backup source of power. Nice try but...watch this...
Bill reaches on the back underside of the laptop computer he has in his hands and he pulls off the battery pack. Immediately the laptop computer goes silent with a black screen.
BILL BARNHART: Oh, Ty, do you think I am so stupid that I would not have anticipated that you might put a battery backup power source inside of ANNIE? How simple is it for me to have someone walk up and snag away her battery, unplug her, and dump a bucket of water on her? But you know what Geek Dude? I know you are probably intelligent enough to anticipate everything I could possibly do to ANNIE to get her to malfunction. Although you may be able to water proof ANNIE...and provide her with a half dozen sources of power so that when she gets unplugged or has her battery removed, that she will continue to work and assist you in our match. But as you know computers can only deal with logical information and whenever something is totally out there, totally illogical, something that defies logic, that there are no computers which can deal with that. In every case where a computer, no matter how powerful, is confronted with something so far off the logic RADAR that it is beyond computation, the computer will fry. What might I do to totally fry ANNIE during our match? How about this?
Bill has one computer still running in his dressing room. The computer is watching Bill and suggesting things to do to him similar to what ANNIE might do in offering suggestions to Ty The Tech Guy during his match with Bill Barnhart. Bill laughs at the computer's lame attempts and the computer is getting upset at Bill for laughing at it. Just when we think the computer is going to attack Bill Barnhart, we see him start his CD Player with the song SHAKE YOUR BOOTY and he strips down to just a pink thong and Bill starts to dance in front of the computer, shaking his big, hairy, white ass in only a pink thong and the computer totally freaks out since this is so off the logic scale that the computer cannot compute the data.
COMPUTER: No! I cannot compute this! Illogical! Stop! Please! Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!! *SNAP* *FIZZLE* *CRACKLE* *ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.....* The computer flat lines and goes dead. Bill stops his dancing and he stops the music and then he looks into the camera one last time.
BILL BARNHART: Ty...I told you that I am unconventional and I can do things which no computer can calculate or compute! I know you are totally helpless in our match without the benefit of ANNIE sitting at ringside throwing out suggestions to you on how to defeat me. I told you I can go so far off the charts that ANNIE will self-destruct. I know you believe me now. See you shortly...in a Steel Cage...and I will enjoy watching you freak out when ANNIE self-destructs due to my throwing her off track!
The scene is about to end. The last view we get of Bill Barnhart is him calling a Computer Recycling Company to come to his dressing room to pick up and recycle the computer junk he has sitting there. We return our attention to the ring where the next match is about to begin.
Bill Barnhart vs. Ty the Tech Guy
Stormy: This contest is scheduled for one fall and it will be contested inside the steel cage!!! The first wrestler to come down the aisle stands in at 6’0 and weighs in at 240 pounds!! Hailing from Oakland, California!!!! He is one half of the AWA tag team champions!!! Bill Barnhart!!!
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS by Bachman Turner Overdrive hits the speaker. The TRON crackles to life and we see a close-up shot of Bill Barnhart and Iris his English Bulldog. The TRON then shifts scenes to seversl clips of Bill's wrestling matches where he is either administering his Bulldog or Piledriver to his opponent for the pinfall, or he is using one of his many submission moves to make them tap out. The spotlights focus on the backstage curtains and we see Bulldog Bill Barnhart step through the curtains leading Iris on her leash (Iris is not always present at Bill's matches though - so please check his promos for the week to see if Iris was left home or not). Bill comes out dressed in one of his trademark wrestling outfits (either the pink outfit with black trim witn ablack heart sewn over his heart...or the black outfit with pink trimp with a pink heart swen over si heart). Iris is dressed in her Pink Diamond-Studded Dog Collar. Bill walks confidently along the entrance walkway and under the TRON. As he walks under the TRON, pink and white pyros erupt causing a cascade of pink sparks to spill down on the entrance walkway around Bill (and Iris if she is accompanying him). Bill stops at the landing at the top of the entrance ramp to play the crowd with a huge smile on his face even though he gets mostly boos from the crowd. He then takes off with a quick pace to the ring. When Bill arrives at the ring he (hands the leash of Iris to an attendant at ringside) climbs the ring steps, walks along the ring apron, and then ducks through the ropes into the ring. Bill walks around the ring to acknowledge all the people in the crowd and he maintains his huge smile all the time although the crowd is booing him for his bad turn. Bill then takes up residence in a corner to await the arrival of his opponent.
Stormy: And his opponent, standing in at 6’0 and weighing in at 230 pounds!! Hailing from Silicone Valley, California!!! Ty The Tech Guy!!!
The lights come up bright and white as "code monkey" hits the PA system. We see a muscular looking man walk out from behind the curtain of the tron shielding his eyes. He walks slowly as the lights start dimming down and we see Ty the Tech Guy and his thick black framed glasses, complete with tape wrapped around the nose bridge walk to the ring. He walks with his head down trying not to make eye contact with anyone. He gets in the cage, he has a bit of trouble getting into the ring as he's not completely sure how to go about getting through the second and third ropes. After a moment the referee helps him through and both fall down to the mat. Ty gets ups quickly and tries to save face by waving to the laughing crowd.
Tex: This is going to be…… interesting
Duff: Downright ugly and quickly it will be over if you ask me!!!
The bell rings and Barnhart charges in on Ty, who gets clobbered in the corner as Bill starts to lay the boots to him before driving an elbow into his chest and that causes Ty to fall down on the canvas. Bill grabs him by the head and lifts him up to his feet before whipping him into the ropes and into the cage wall, the Tech Guy stumbles backwards and gets dropped by an Inverted Atomic Drop by the tag champion
Duff: Bill is going to enjoy this!!!
Ty the Tech guy tries to get to his feet as he is pulling himself up by using the ropes. He turns around and sees Bill charging in on him. Bill jumps to squash Ty against the cage wall, but Ty moves out of the way and gives Bill the taste of cold and unforgiving steel of the cage walls. Bill stumbles backwards as the Tech Guy starts to slap Bill across the chest with an open hand. It hurts his hand more than it has effect on Bill. Then Ty starts to deliver some kicks in the knee joint of Barnhart, that causes him to get to his knees. Ty runs to the ropes and wants to deliver a clothesline, but Bill ducks. Causes Ty to run into the steel wall. Bill catches him from behind and executes a Belly to Back overhead suplex. This causes him to hit the canvas hard as he is clutching on his chest and breathing heavily. Bill grabs him by the head and lifts him up for his patented Bulldog Headlock and drives Ty the Tech Guy into the canvas and covers him for the three count
Stormy: The winner of this match !!! Bill Barnhart!!!
Winner: Bill Barnhart
Goth can be seen sitting in the medical room with Jinx as he is staring at his sister.
Goth: Don’t you worry my sweet sister, at Breakout. You will have the chance to even the score with Ebony Mae… I guarantee you that
Goth turns his attention towards Fang as his brother enters the room and the shot slowly fades to darkness
Matthew Toddi vs. Owen Idol
Spotlights circle around the arena before “Truth” by Seether hits the PA system. Before Toddi walks out you hear the opening lines to the song.
''If I gave you the truth would it keep you alive.
Stormy: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, from Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 225 pounds…Matthew Toddi!!!
The boos continue as Toddi just nods his head, looking quite confident about his upcoming match.
Tex: Something we don’t usually see from Toddi. He looks strangely confident about tonight.
Duff: Eh, cut the kid a break. His opponent is someone else who has been struggling lately as well. That’s why he’s confident. Confidence isn’t a bad thing anyways. Morale booster, Tex…morale booster…
Toddi’s music cuts and “Human” by Metallica replaces it. There’s a bit of delay before Owen Idol comes out from the backstage area. He stands on the stage and raises his arms in the air as the entire crowd boos some more. Idol looks down to the ring at the waiting Toddi and just shakes his head. He finally does begin to make his way down the ramp however as the fans in the crowd continue to boo. Owen pays them no attention as he just gets closer and closer to the ring. Once he’s there he goes over to a set of the steel ring steps and climbs them before getting up to the ring apron. Owen steps in between the ropes and looks over at Matthew again before he sneers at the referee. Owen’s music begins to fade as Stormy’s sultry voice is heard again.
Stormy: And his opponent, from Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 240 pounds…Owen Idol!!!
Tex: As far as Owen goes, he was unable to survive the Elimination Chamber at Full Throttle. His road back to main event status will have to start here all over again, tonight.
The referee calls for the bell and Toddi heads right for Owen, looking to drive his elbow into his gut. Owen however has none of it as he also gets low before getting out of the way just in time. Toddi goes right by him and Owen nails Toddi right in the back with an elbow strike of his own. Owen takes advantage and delivers a few strong style forearms, again to the back of Toddi, doubling him over. Owen smirks as the crowd boos. He grabs Toddi’s arms and sets him up for a sort of a double underhook maneuver, but Toddi battles out and rams his head right into Owen as the crowd ohs. Owen backs away from Toddi, but Toddi doesn’t give Owen any sort of timeout. Toddi instead backs up before firing himself towards Owen. He clotheslines Owen up and over the top rope and out to the floor. The crowd actually cheers this as Owen pounds the ringside mats in frustration before getting to his feet. Toddi quickly takes to the top rope and goes for a cross body onto Owen. But Owen has recovered just enough to catch him and then spin him out into a neckbreaker, dropping Toddi to the ringside mat now. Toddi begins to roll around in agony as Owen stands up and just laughs down at him before sliding into the ring to break the referee’s 10 count, which had already gotten up to 4.
Owen rolls back out as the referee yells for him to bring Toddi back in. Owen however doesn’t do so. He instead picks Toddi up and whacks his head against the crowd barrier before stepping back and admiring his handiwork.
Duff: You know, if Owen had been this dedicated to making his opponents squirm in the Elimination Chamber, he would be our Universal Champion right now!
Tex: But we’ll never know that Duff. As for him doing this right now, it’s wrong. He needs to get Toddi back into the ring. The referee looks like he means business.
Owen goes to grab Toddi again, but this time Toddi drops himself down and suddenly crawls underneath Owen’s legs. He climbs up onto the ring apron and rolls into the ring. Owen turns around and just shakes his head. Toddi stands up inside the ring, staggering a little bit as he glares at Owen. Owen, who is showing a lot of confidence, rolls into the ring as well. Toddi backs up and Owen runs forward. Both collide into each other and end up down on the canvas.
Tex: Turning point in this one is right here and right now!
Duff: Come on Owen…you’ve got him.
But it’s Toddi who begins to get to his feet first. He comes over towards Owen and actually pulls Owen up before delivering a backhand right to the upper chest of Owen. Owen feels that one, but Toddi doesn’t stop there. He delivers another chop, then another which gets Owen reeling. Owen grabs a hold of the nearby rope but Toddi yanks him away from the ropes before turning Owen around and delivering a solid MKO, putting Owen down to the canvas. Toddi pants heavily and just looks very angry. He looks up for a moment before looking back down at Owen. He picks him up and sets him for another MKO, drilling it successfully. Owen rolls around on the mat.
Tex: That’s TWO MKO’s in a row! Toddi might be able to pin him now!
Though I’m closer to wrong and no further from right.
And now I’m convinced on the inside something's wrong with me.
Convinced on the inside.
There’s something wrong with ME!!''.
As the last word of the opening riff sounds, red and white fireworks come from above as Matthew Toddi walks through them. He walks down to the ring as he gets booed by the audience. Once he gets to the ring he walks up the steel steps and slowly enters the ring. He walks to a turnbuckle and climbs up it. He then holds his hands above his head as the fans boo and try to throw food and drinks at him. He then gets down and waits for his opponent as his music keeps playing and Stormy Canyon announces him into the ring.