Tex: Welcome to another edition of Monday Night Insomnia! Here we are one week removed from Full Throttle 2 and we have one hell of a show!
Duff: Why do you always sound like you should be hosting Saturday Night Live, man? Seriously? Just tell the fans what they want to know. Like Execution getting their comeuppance at the hands of the new and improved Family!
Tex: We've done this job together for how long Duff? Do you really want to get on how I do commentary now?
Duff: How about the Elimination Chamber qualifying match, Toddi v. John Gold! That will be a match to see! Not to mention that Shane West is going to be DESTROYED tonight when he meets Anthony Phoenix in a submission match, with Goth as Special Guest referee!
Tex: Uh, Duff? I'm getting word that somethings going on in the back...
The camera pops up backstage on James Crow with his back against the wall. He holds his Barbed wire Wrapped baseball bat, Carey, in a swinging position as he gives the camera a little wink. Shane West’s voice can be heard echoing as he talks on his cell phone. A grin erupts across James’ face as the anticipation builds. West laughs as he is just about to the corner where James has set his trap. You see James tense up as West’s Foot comes around the corner. James swings the bat with enough force to take West’s head clean off. It impacts the stomach of Shane with such force a sickening woomph can be heard echoing throughout the hallway. Shane doubles over, and James shoves him headfirst into the cement wall, where Shane hits the ground. James laughs uncontrollably as he dances around Shane’s prone body.
Crow: There he is! Captain America. You think your better then me, don’t ya.
Shane groans as he rolls over to his side. James giggles to himself as he brings the bat down onto Mr. West two more times.
Crow: No no no. You don’t get the right to stand. Not until I give you permission. Since you’ve been away from Execution we have doubled in strength. Axion is all but gone as its members hide behind the scenes hoping that we have forgotten about them. Things have finally calmed down enough where I can focus on the cancers with in the AWA.
Shane lets out another hazy groan as he attempts to regain his wits. He grabs at James’ pants leg with a determined look on his face. It was obvious Shane wanted blood, but James just laughs as he kicks Shane in the ribs, and then gets down on his knees, and begins rubbing the barbwire bat across Shane's forehead, eliciting SCREAMS of pain from Shane.
Crow: You don’t get it do you? I am in CHARGE here. Me. Your life belongs to me.
James stands, grinning, and turns as he skips off scene. The camera zooms into Shane’s face, now a bloody mess. The scene fades to black as James’ haunting laughter can be heard echoing throughout the hallways. The camera fades to black with a close up shot on Shane's torn up face, before coming back up at ringside with Tex and Duff.
Tex: Oh Dear god! What has that madman done!
Duff: Just what I've wanted to see done for 8 months Tex! Shane West just got EXECUTED! HA HA!
Tex: What's this mean for the main event tonight though? Shane West is supposed to have a Universal Title shot! Will he be in any position to compete?!
Duff: Only time will tell, Tex! Oh well! We have our first match of the night coming up, with WhiteOut facing off against newcomer Ryan Williams!
The opening credits of Monday Night Insomnia close and the scene shoots open to a live sold out crowd in Edward Jones Dome, in Saint Louis, Missouri. The crowd goes wild as we hear Tex and Duff talking amongst themselves, as they anxiously await the action.
Tex: Welcome to another edition of Monday Night Insomnia! We are live at the sold out Edward Jones Dome in the great city of Saint Louis, Missouri!
Duff: What’s so great about it? It smells like Los Angeles except without the stench of the Kings!
Tex: Uh…right. We have a great show lined up for you folks watching us at home tonight, as we have matches for entrance into Full Throttle II’s Main Event Elimination Chamber where either Shane West or Anthony Phoenix will be defending their Universal Title against six opponents!
Duff: Yeah, my money is on Shane West! He’s like Popeye’s Chicken! It’s…..
Tex: Whoa there partner, this is a family oriented show. Watch the language buddy, or we’ll have to beep you out just like we do with James Crow!
Duff: You can muzzle the dog, but you can’t hold back the revolution my friend!
Tex: What?! Nevermind. Folks stay with us we’ll be right back on Insomnia!
The scene cuts to commercial
{Commercial}
The scene comes back from commercial as Tex and Duff are talking about the nights’ events.
Duff: What do you mean there’s no hope? I happen to believe that there is hope for everyone in that match!
Tex: Folks if you’re just joining us we are taking you backstage where our first match of the night is underway already! It appears that our two competitors for the opening match could not wait till they got in the ring! Where is that Pete the cameraman?!
Duff: Probably off drunk somewhere.
The camera switches backstage where we see Ryan Williams and Whiteout duking it out. Ryan Williams has a folded steel chair and takes a step into a full onset swing, hitting Whiteout across the skull like a ball player hitting a homerun out of the ball park. Whiteout goes down hard. Williams tosses the chair and picks up the left leg of the unconscious man Whiteout, and begins to drag him. A moment later we see him coming from underneath the Tron, dragging his opponent down the rampway and up the steel steps into the ring. Referee Simple Simon Jones is there and rings the bell, starting the beginning of the match. Williams is quick to cover.
Tex: Williams goes for the cover! One, Two…thr…kickout!
Duff: How the *beep* did he kick out of that!? I just lost twenty bucks!
Williams is in disbelief as Whiteout is starting to shake the cobwebs out. Williams gets to his feet and starts kicking Whiteout repeatedly in the ribs. After about five or six Referee Simple Simon Jones tells him that’s enough. Williams takes a moment to allow Whiteout to get up and tries to attempt a scoop slam, but fails as Whiteout kicks Williams to the gut, hunching him over. Whiteout tries to lift Williams arms in a pedigree but Williams is quick to act giving him a German suplex right into referee Simple Simon Jones. The referee is knocked back into the ropes and falls to his knees, taking a moment in as to what happened. Williams is quick to notice and picks Whiteout up and delivers a devastating low blow by a kick to the groin. Whiteout hits the mat hard screaming in pain. Williams goes for the cover, and gets a slow count. ONE………………..TWO………..KICKOUT!!!!
Williams is again in disbelief as Whiteout is starting to get to his feet, taking the moment and delivers an unexpected uppercut to the jaw of Ryan Williams, sending him flying on his back. Whiteout goes for a quick cover. One…Two….Thr…..kickout! Whiteout gets up and pulls Williams up by his head. He delivers a quick reverse roundhouse kick to the skull, sending Williams out of the ring and headfirst into Spanish Announcer’s table. We can hear Pedro the Spanish Announcer yell.
Pedro: Santa Madre de Dios! No es levantarse de que uno!
Duff: Hey Learn to speak American you dirty *beep* *beep*!
Tex: I apologize for my cohort here but the referee is starting a ten count! Looks like this match might be over for Ryan Williams!
Simple Simon Jones: ONE………TWO…………THREEEEE…………FOUR……………..
Duff: Williams is starting to stir!! He’s still in this one!
Simple Simon Jones:………FIVE …………SIX…!
Williams gets to his feet and is met by a flying karate kick to the head by Whiteout, but he misses and instead hits Pedro! Referee Simple Simon Jones has to start over the count out.
Simple Simon Jones: ONE………TWO…………THREEEEE…………FOUR…………FIVE……..SIX……….SEVEN……..EIGHT……NINE………TEN……..RING THAT BELL!!!
Stormy: There is no winner to this match as both contestants have been double disqualified due to knock out.
All of a sudden Dark Side by Gothminister hits the PA and we see Goth come out underneath the Tron, mic in hand.
Goth: You two call that a match?! I’ve seen better matches from two idiots with MR! The two of you are suspended effective immediately!
The scene cuts backstage.
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS by Bachman Turner Overdrive hits the speakers as Bill Barnhart comes walking down to the ring. He pays no attention to the fans as he climbs up into the ring and asks for Stormy Canyons’ microphone.
Bill: So Chris Shipman. Not a peep hardly from you this week. Since he is my opponent for tonight I better address him. Shipman I am hoping that the things I said this week woke you up. I hope I have inspired you to be what you once were and that was a damn good wrestler. Going into our match tonight I want you to know that I have a lot of people who hate me and there is a good possibility of people interfering in our match to try to ensure I don't win the Tag Team Title Belts with Th1rt3en and that I don't obtain my second Grand Slam. I know that In a squeaky chipmunk like voice Jonathan Porter is jealous of my accomplishments so he might run in on our match……HEY WAIT A MINUTE HERE!! WHO IS SCREWING WITH MY VOICE!? DAMN YOU! I DEMAND THAT YOU COME OUT HERE LIKE A MAN AND FACE ME! NEXT WEEK AT FULL THROTTLE I AM GOING TO HUNT YOU DOWN AND FIND YOU AND KICK YOUR LITTLE PENCIL NECKED BUTT ALL OVER THIS RING! I…
'Freak' by Gothminister starts playing as we see the lawyer of the owner of the company come out shaking his hands as on the Titan Tron we can see lady justice all covered in blood. His eyes are pierced towards the ring as his smile reveals sinister intentions..
Damien: Hold your tongue! I have what you want right here in my hands, Bill! In my hand I hold a contract for a match between you and the mystery tech person responsible for your interruptions! But beware! The mystery tech person gets to determine the match if you agree to it Bill! What say you?
Bill begins to reply, and again it is in a squeaky chipmunk like voice.
Bill: I say……I say…..I say I’ll agree to anything so long as these shenanigans stop! STOP IT! I DO NOT SOUND LIKE ALVIN FROM THE CHIPMUNKS! I AM A MULTI-TIME CHAMPION IN THIS BUSINESS AND I DESERVE RESPECT!? DO YOUNormal voice resumes UNDERSTAND ME!?
The crowd is erupting with laughter. Damien has made his way down to the ring, contract and pen in hand ready for Bill to sign.
Damien: Well Bill, I can guarantee you that the shenanigans will stop if you agree to this match. Sign the papers Bill. Get your revenge!
Bill without hesitation takes the contract from Damien and signs it on Damien’s back. Damien smirks in a sinister manner.
Damien: Good! Bill Barnhart….meet your opponent! The tech guy behind the so called “Code Monkey”! I give you, Ty the Tech Guy!
The Tron comes to life as "Code Monkey" by Jonathan Coulton hits the PA. A muscular bald man comes walking out slowly from the back shielding his eyes from the bright lights. After his eyes adjust he stares out to the ring at a very stunned Bill Barnhart, whose jaw dropped at the sight of the six foot tall bald man.
Damien: What’s the matter Bill? Speechless for once? Is he not just like Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory? Enjoy your match at the next Insomnia!
Code Monkey continues to play as the scene switches
Cameras open up to the back and show a hallway, then a locker room door. There is a star on the door with the name “Fang” on it. A large hand comes into view from a side angle on the camera and pounds on the door loudly, followed by a rush of footsteps as they fade away. A moment later Fang throws the door open, seemingly irritated, only partially dressed for his match. He looks around the hallway finding nothing until he looks down. The camera pans down to see what he is looking at.
At the door is the head of a large wolf, severed from the rest of its body. The left side of the skull is completely crushed in. The center of impact seems to have been the left eye, as the socket is completely shattered, with the eye just dangling there. The fracture carries upwards through to the top of the skull, covered in leaked blood and brain matter, and down through the dislocated jaw, where a few of his fangs are missing.
Fang just stares at it a moment, his expression slowly forming a mask of anger as the scene sinks in. Heavy footfalls can be heard from the hall as the camera pans over to them, showing Max Maxim coming from around one of the corners, entirely dressed for tonight’s match, and wearing a huge grin. Fang looks up from the head and just glares a hole through Max, who seems un-phased, continuing to smirk as he holds out his hand revealing the wolf’s missing fangs. The smirk finally fades into an expression of determination as he looks down at the fangs, then back up at Fang, then that smirk returns, slowly just from one corner of his mouth as he tosses the fangs up, then catches them again shaking them at Fang before turning to walk away.
Fang glares at Max the entire time never once breaking eye contact, until Max turns away at which point he looks furious, kicking the wolf’s head before turning to slam the locker room door.
The attention of the fans is turned to the TRON as it crackles to life and we see Bill Barnhart on the screen. He is dressed and ready to go in his wrestling attire. The crowd quiets down as Bill speaks.
Last week we saw something rather interesting, although disturbing, and that was the gang attack by Jonathan Porter and his thugs on Morbius Tassius after my match with him. I have a hell of a lot of respect for Morbius Tassius and I want to clear the air here that I had nothing to do with that cheap attack on Tassius by the wannabe king of Asylum Wrestling Alliance who calls himself Jonathan FANG Porter. I was fortunate that when the match was over I was able to slide out of the ring but I saw the attack. I saw how Fang and his thugs ganged up on Morbius and how they prevented Execution members from coming to his assistance. And then to tie Tassius to a cross with barbed wire and crucify him? That was a low blow that Bill Barnhart will not leave to fester.
Last week Jonathan Porter laid claim to being the face and the money draw of Asylum Wrestling Alliance. No, Porter, you are not the face of Asylum Wrestling Alliance. You are not the money draw of Asylum Wrestling Alliance. If you were confident in yourself that you really are the face and money draw of Asylum Wrestling Alliance then you would not have to stoop to gang tactics and cheap attacks to get your point across. If you were the face and money draw of Asylum Wrestling Alliance as I am then all you would have to do is get on the mic and state your claim and everyone would listen to you out of respect. Yeah, Jonathan, that is what the fans do when I speak. They listen to me out of respect. They boo you. They taunt you. They hate you. They don't respect you. And that burns your butt eh wolf boy? You know who I am. You know that the fans identify with me more than they do with you. And you know that even on the weeks I am OFF the Card that I still bring more money into the bank accounts of Goth and Asylum Wrestling Alliance than you could ever do on your best day.
But I tire of talking to you and about you. I have a match to prepare for!
The TRON flips off and goes to a black screen. The crowd is buzzing over the comments just made by Bill Barnhart.
Bill Barnhart vs. Chris Shipman
Stormy: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, originally from West London, weighing in at 235 pounds…Chris Shipmaaaan!!!
The arena lights go out except for one spotlight on the entranceway at the curtains. A funeral march of drummers, trumpets, and a choir march up the entranceway. They are shortly followed by the Reverend Chris Shipman who emerges holding a bible and cross high in the air and seemingly blesses the crowd and Synn following him clapping and directing the fans to do so. Shipman gets in the ring and sets the bible and cross down in the middle of the ring. He begins praying before disrobing his wrestling attire as the lights come back on and the march stops singing and playing and exits the arena. Synn and Shipman share a few words before Synn takes his spot outside the ring.
Tex: Well, as everyone knows Chris Shipman challenges Fang for the International Championship at Full Throttle. For Chris, it’s a chance he’s been waiting for.
Duff: Tonight though, Chris faces an old foe who knows what it’s like to be a champion.
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS by Bachman Turner Overdrive hits the speaker. The TRON crackles to life and we see a close-up shot of Bill Barnhart and Iris his English Bulldog. The TRON then shifts scenes to several clips of Bill's wrestling matches where he is either administering his Bulldog or Piledriver to his opponent for the pinfall, or he is using one of his many submission moves to make them tap out. The spotlights focus on the backstage curtains and we see Bulldog Bill Barnhart step through the curtains. Stormy immediately introduces the veteran.
Stormy: And his opponent, from Oakland, California, weighing in at 240 pounds…Bulldog Bill Barnharrrrrrt!!!
Bill comes out dressed in one of his trademark wrestling outfits. Bill walks confidently along the entrance walkway and under the TRON. As he walks under the TRON, pink and white pyros erupt causing a cascade of pink sparks to spill down on the entrance walkway around Bill. Bill stops at the landing at the top of the entrance ramp to play the crowd with a huge smile on his face even though he gets mostly boos from the crowd. He then takes off with a quick pace to the ring. When Bill arrives at the ring he climbs the ring steps, walks along the ring apron, and then ducks through the ropes into the ring. Bill walks around the ring to acknowledge all the people in the crowd and he maintains his huge smile all the time although the crowd is booing him for his bad turn. Bill then takes up residence in a corner as Shipman looks towards Bill and growls at him.
Duff: Lots of history between these two. May as well add another chapter of bad blood!
Tex: As long as they aren’t adding Tyger Blood…
Duff: But…but that would be WINNING!
Tex: I shouldn’t have gone there…
The bell rings and Bill and Shipman go to meet up in the center of the ring. Bill and Chris trade shots to open up the match-up until Bill is able to get Shipman to teeter a bit. He reaches out for Shipman and whips him into a set of the ring ropes. Shipman comes off of them but is unable to duck an elbow smash from Barnhart. Barnhart delivers a second elbow smash, this time to Shipman’s gut, doubling him over. Barnhart takes advantage by grabbing for Shipman’s head and dropping him with an Impaler DDT. Shipman’s head bounces off the canvas. Bill wastes no time in going for a cover. The referee assigned to this match counts.
1!
2!
Shipman kicks out in time.
Tex: That was an EVIL DDT right there from Bill, but Shipman wasn’t gonna let this match go this early.
Duff: Yeah, I think we’ve only just begun…
Bill gets up. Shipman begins to do so as well, but Bill realizes this and delivers another elbow smash to the gut of Shipman. The crowd boos for Bill, but Barnhart doesn’t seem to care. He sets up Shipman for a brainbuster and delivers it.
Duff: Wow, Shipman just got his brains scrambled!
Tex: I’m sure somewhere backstage Fang is loving this, knowing that the #1 Contender to the International Title is getting nothing but owned out here tonight.
Bill doesn’t pin Shipman this time but instead whips Shipman to the ropes and delivers an elbow to Shipman’s throat. Shipman coughs but moves to his left, avoiding another shot from Barnhart. Shipman rolls out of the ring to safety to try and recuperate for at least a few seconds. The referee begins a ten count as Bill looks around to see that Shipman has escapes his grasp. Shipman staggers around outside the ring until the referee’s count reaches 6. He then rolls back into the ring as far away from Barnhart as possible. Bill however runs at Shipman and is able to connect with a clothesline that sends Shipman into a corner. It’s here that Bill delivers a few chops, before Shipman is able to respond with a few of his own, fighting his way out of the corner. The Shipman marks in the crowd begin to cheer.
Tex: Perhaps the tide is about to change!
Shipman goes to gauge at Bill’s eyes, but Barnhart sees this coming and blocks the hand of Shipman. He then grabs the rest of Shipman and racks him overhead before dropping him down with a fireman’s carry. Shipman however doesn’t stay on the mat but instead crawls to the ropes and begins to pull himself up. Barnhart gets into position behind Shipman, but as Shipman’s about to turn around and look for Bill, the lights turn off in the arena and the tron lights up. Fang’s voice can be heard and a photo of a cross is shown with a puppet strung to it that sort of looks like Shipman.
Fang: Full Throttle Chris…you will be hung, just like Morbius was…
The lights come back on in the arena as the crowd doesn’t know what to think. Shipman’s attention is still diverted to the tron, but Barnhart pays Fang’s “message” no mind and wraps a sleeper hold on Shipman. Shipman wriggles to try and get out but soon finds himself fading. Barnhart keeps the hold on real strong until finally Shipman taps out to avoid further punishment.
Tex: And there it is. Fang with the ridiculous distraction!
Duff: Shipman shouldn’t have paid attention to Fang’s puppetry. Either way though, Bill Barnhart with the win here tonight and Shipman will no doubt want Fang’s hide at Full Throttle! It’ll be great!
“Taking Care Of Business” begins to play as Shipman rolls out of the ring, regaining his breath. Meanwhile the referee raises Bill Barnhart’s arm in victory as the scene inside the arena fades out…
The scene opens backstage at a portapotty. Standing in front of it are 3 Extremely well dressed body guards. The same we see with Fang at all times. They look alert but bored as they make small talk back and forth. Suddenly a beat up Oldsmobile comes out of nowhere and slams into all three men and pins the door of the portapotty closed. The person on the inside of the portable toilet begins banging on the door, as you can hear the muffled voice of Fang from the inside.
Fang: What the hell!?
James climbs out of the car whistling with a crazed glee. He drags a long steel chain out of his car, and begins to wrap it around the John. He runs in circles hopping over his car hood until the chain is completely wrapped around the Protapotty. He pulls a padlock from his coat pocket and quickly locks the chain. James cackles as he drives his fist into the door a few times, which sparks a rant or two from Fang inside. You just can’t make out his words, but its assumed they are death threats.
Crow: You see, Fang. You have made a huge mistake. You stringed up MY brother. I can not just let that slide. I must admit I enjoyed watching your methods, and I would have loved to see what you could achieve. Unfortunately this is where your career ends.
James climbs back over his car and opens the backdoor. He pulls from the back seat a can of gasoline. James smiles as he skips around the portapotty splashing the gas onto its walls. James begins to sing.
Crow: Ring a Rosy, pocket full of poises. Ashes, ashes, they all fall down.
James picks out a lighter from his pocket, and tries to spark it, but it fails to light. A flash of movement is seen, and James goes sprawling into the car. He turns, gas can in one hand, lighter in the other. A boot comes up superkicking him in the face, and the gas can goes flying from his hand, as he falls onto the hood of the car. The camera turns, and Shane West is standing there, a bandage over his forehead from where James ripped him open earlier. Shane grabs a 2X4 laying nearby, picking it up.
Shane: WHO made a big mistake? You think that was cute? You think you're a 'big man' now? You think that by taking out 'Captain America' you're gonna be the top dog?
James is laughing like mad as he sits up on the car hood, only to have the 2x4 come crashing down on his head. It snaps in half, and James slumps back onto the car hood. Shane gets up on the hood, lifting James up. James goes to push Shane away, but gets headbutted in the face. Shane's bandage starts turning red, as the headbutt rebusted him open. James stumbles and falls on his butt on the top of the car. Shane kicks Crow in the temple, sending him sprawling sideways on the top of the car.
Shane: Well, Captain America has checked out!
Crow is sitting up, still grinning like the cheshire cat, when Shane hits him with the broken 2x4, laying him flat on the top of the car. Then, lifting Crow up, he drags Crow to the hood of the vehicle, and flattens him with a full nelson face-buster, sending Crow's head SMASHING into the windshield. A sickening CRASH is heard, as the window spiderwebs, and blood appears on the windshield. Shane turns, staring at the port-a-potty, with Fang still locked inside.
Shane: AND YOU. Your little war? Doesn't freaking concern me. So if your 'boys' EVER lay a finger on me again, I won't stop until you're all dead. Hear me? Till then, swim in what I think of you.
Shane grabs Crow, and throws him into the port-a-potty. The sudden impact of James hitting it sends the thing off balance, and it starts to tilt at a bad angle. With two hands, Shane pushes hard, and with a angry yell from within, the port-a-potty tips over, and liquid pours out the top in a puddle, surrounding the port-a-potty and James. Shane covers his nose, a disgusted look on his face. He turns to walk away, and stops, turning back, staring at Vic Gillot on the ground. He kicks the man in the ribs, eliciting a 'ow', before turning and stomping off, angry as hell.
Soft whistling can be heard coming from the women’s locker room as the camera goes in for a closer look. As the camera gets closer, Jinx can be seen sitting on the bench clenching something in her hands. The soft whistling slowly comes to an end as the camera zooms in on Jinx’s hands.
Tex: What in the blue hell are those?
As the camera zooms in on Jinx’s hands, we can see that she is holding a rather large keychain with little voodoo dolls attached to it.
Duff: And things just keep getting weirder and weirder with this girl.
A sinister laughter escapes Jinx’s lips as she glares down at the keychain.
Jinx: Don’t be sad little ones, tonight two new members get added to the family of victims I have built over the years. Do you hear the people screaming? They want blood tonight, so my brother Fang & I shall deliver on our promise and you’ll be getting two new playmates to play with.
She stood up and placed the keychain into one of the lockers. Glaring at the keychain one last time, she smiled than shut the door.
Jinx: I guess it’s time. Tonight is the end of something new as a new era of pain begins. Now you stay here my little friends, I’ll be back later soon enough and I promise to bring you a little reminder of the chaos that I shall cause tonight.
The camera zooms out as Jinx can be seen leaving the women’s locker room.
Fang & Jinx vs. Morbius Tassius & Max Maxim
Tex: I don't even know what to say about this next match Duff, I mean, there is a lot of history here!
Duff: I'm more looking at the informal reformation of the family! Goth, Fang, and the newly found half-sister Jinx? That is a lot firepower!
Tex: It is true that we saw a kind of 'reformation', but Goth made it clear they weren't reforming “The Family”.
Duff: Who cares!? The Family is back to rule AWA!
Tex: Which brings us to their opponents tonight, in Execution. I don't really see Execution allowing a 'family' reformation to go off without a hitch. I'm sure they have a few wrenches to toss in the gears. ESPECIALLY after what Fang did last week to Morbius!
Duff: What? Fang made a point. When Execution does it, you're a huge fan. Fang does it, and you get angry? Hypocrite!